{"id":2001,"date":"2020-05-20T10:00:59","date_gmt":"2020-05-20T10:00:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/niemanstoryboard.org\/2020\/05\/20\/when-we-came-back-to-paris-it-was-clear-and-cold-and-lovely\/"},"modified":"2025-03-18T19:41:03","modified_gmt":"2025-03-18T19:41:03","slug":"when-we-came-back-to-paris-it-was-clear-and-cold-and-lovely","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/niemanstoryboard.org\/2020\/05\/20\/when-we-came-back-to-paris-it-was-clear-and-cold-and-lovely\/","title":{"rendered":"“When we came back to Paris it was clear and cold and lovely.”"},"content":{"rendered":" \n
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My wife, Karen, and I happen to have for more than a decade a good Catholic pastor, Msgr. Robert Gibbons. Among his many gifts, he is a news junkie and is endlessly fascinated with language and literature. (He is also a cancer survivor and very encouraging to Karen during her recovery.)<\/p>\n\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n \n

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Since we can’t gab with him on Sunday mornings during the pandemic, he will send the occasional message, at times with a question.  Like this one about a Hemingway sentence:<\/p>\n\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n \n

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I always like to pick up, from time to time, \u201cA Moveable Feast.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n\n\n \n

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Yesterday the opening sentence of Chapter 2 struck me: \u201cWhen we came back to Paris it was clear and cold and lovely.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n\n\n \n

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Why do I find that sentence so compelling?  Is it the lack of commas?  Is it that almost all the words are one-syllable?  Is it the fact that he doesn\u2019t just say \u201cclear and cold\u201d but adds \u201clovely,\u201d which is perhaps unexpected by the reader, especially after \u201cclear and cold.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n\n\n \n

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What is it about that sentence?<\/em><\/p>\n\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n \n

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Here was my response:<\/p>\n\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n \n

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Thanks for the invitation to X-ray that sentence, Father. “When we came back to Paris it was clear and cold and lovely.”<\/p>\n\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n\n\n \n

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You are right that Hemingway\u2019s style is marked by the absence of commas.  I would have written it: “When we came back to Paris, it was clear, cold, and lovely.”<\/p>\n\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n\n\n \n

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It is technically a complex sentence with one subordinate clause followed by an independent clause. In the conventions of regular punctuation, that requires a comma after \u201cParis,\u201d so sternest schoolmasters would have taken points off. But it is in that small violation that Hemingway\u2019s rhetorical style is revealed.<\/p>\n\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n\n\n \n

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You are also correct that all but two of his words are of one syllable. That actually forces us to see the two words that stand out: \u201cParis\u201d and \u201clovely,\u201d the two most important words. \u201cParis\u201d is the last word in the first clause; \u201clovely\u201d the last in the main clause.<\/p>\n\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n\n\n \n

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Then there is the principle of three. Three examples sends a secret message: \u201cThat\u2019s all you need to know.\u201d  Clear and cold and lovely. The number two (2) divides the world, but three (3) encompasses the world.  Think of St. Paul in Corinthians:  faith, hope, and love; or the way I learned it: faith, hope, and charity.<\/p>\n\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n\n\n \n

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The power comes from parallelism in Paul but also in Hemingway. “Clear” and “cold” are parallel \u2014 single syllable words that are alliterative. In a parallel list, the author always has a shot at giving it a tweak at the end. (Think of Frank Sinatra:  “I\u2019ve been a pirate, a pauper, a puppet, a poet, a pawn, and a king.”) “Lovely” may sound like a weaker word because it has two syllables, with the emphasis on the first. (Parallel with \u201cParis.\u201d) But Hemingway knows what all effective writers know:  That the most emphatic word should go at the end.<\/p>\n\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n\n\n \n

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Thanks again for asking. Look forward to seeing you again. Karen does, too. Roy<\/p>\n\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n \n

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Roy Peter Clark<\/strong> has taught writing at the Poynter Institute since 1977.  He is the author or editor of 19 books on journalism and the writing craft including \u201cWriting Tools\u201d and his most recent \u201cMurder Your Darlings: And Other Gentle Writing Advice from Aristotle to Zinsser.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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