{"id":2435,"date":"2023-06-15T12:00:50","date_gmt":"2023-06-15T12:00:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/niemanstoryboard.org\/2023\/06\/15\/transgender-suicide-interviewing-sources-ethics-narrative-structure\/"},"modified":"2025-01-13T19:33:15","modified_gmt":"2025-01-13T19:33:15","slug":"transgender-suicide-interviewing-sources-ethics-narrative-structure","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/niemanstoryboard.org\/2023\/06\/15\/transgender-suicide-interviewing-sources-ethics-narrative-structure\/","title":{"rendered":"Finding the &#8220;bigger and higher purpose&#8221; to cover transgender issues and suicide"},"content":{"rendered":"    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-paragraph mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n<p class=\"has-drop-cap\">For state legislator Karen Berg of Kentucky, the fight against anti-trans legislation was entwined with the memory of her transgender son, Henry. For reporter&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/people\/william-wan\/\">Willian Wan of The Washington Post<\/a>, telling both halves of that story was an opportunity, a challenge and an honor.<\/p>\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-classic mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-paragraph mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n<p>The resulting story was published this past March:&nbsp;<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/dc-md-va\/2023\/03\/25\/transgender-suicide-karen-berg-henry-brousseau-kentucky\/\">\u201cShe lost her trans son to suicide. Can a Kentucky make her colleagues care?\u201d<\/a><\/strong>&nbsp;It traces both the personal and political struggles in Berg\u2019s lonely stance against her colleagues\u2019 legislation. The story opens with a wrenching scene of Berg entering her son\u2019s bedroom after his death. The first simple but wrenching line:<\/p>\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-classic mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-quote mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-paragraph mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n<p>She wanted to hear Henry\u2019s voice again.<\/p>\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-classic mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-image mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\" id=\"attachment_175889\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"314\" height=\"314\" src=\"https:\/\/niemanstoryboard.org\/app\/uploads\/2024\/03\/WilliamWan-scaled-e1686772511530-1-e1736795939286.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-9958\" style=\"width:200px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/niemanstoryboard.org\/app\/uploads\/2024\/03\/WilliamWan-scaled-e1686772511530-1-e1736795939286.jpg 314w, https:\/\/niemanstoryboard.org\/app\/uploads\/2024\/03\/WilliamWan-scaled-e1686772511530-1-e1736795939286-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/niemanstoryboard.org\/app\/uploads\/2024\/03\/WilliamWan-scaled-e1686772511530-1-e1736795939286-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/niemanstoryboard.org\/app\/uploads\/2024\/03\/WilliamWan-scaled-e1686772511530-1-e1736795939286-40x40.jpg 40w, https:\/\/niemanstoryboard.org\/app\/uploads\/2024\/03\/WilliamWan-scaled-e1686772511530-1-e1736795939286-100x100.jpg 100w, https:\/\/niemanstoryboard.org\/app\/uploads\/2024\/03\/WilliamWan-scaled-e1686772511530-1-e1736795939286-200x200.jpg 200w, https:\/\/niemanstoryboard.org\/app\/uploads\/2024\/03\/WilliamWan-scaled-e1686772511530-1-e1736795939286-180x180.jpg 180w, https:\/\/niemanstoryboard.org\/app\/uploads\/2024\/03\/WilliamWan-scaled-e1686772511530-1-e1736795939286-115x115.jpg 115w, https:\/\/niemanstoryboard.org\/app\/uploads\/2024\/03\/WilliamWan-scaled-e1686772511530-1-e1736795939286-230x230.jpg 230w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 314px) 100vw, 314px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">William Wan <small>Sarah L. Voisin \/ The Washington Post<\/small><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n<\/div>    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-classic mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-paragraph mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n<p>It briefly dips into backstory of Henry\u2019s own testimony own testimony, at age 16, before Kentucky legislators. It makes a deft move to foreshadow of Berg\u2019s own impending testimony before her colleagues. And it stays with Berg as she moves further into the bedroom, until she discovers the note in which Henry had listed the pros and cons of committing suicide \u2014 \u201cI didn\u2019t expect this, I\u2019m not ready,\u201d Berg says. From there, the story moves to Berg\u2019s legislative crusade, placed in the contest of a larger anti-LGBTQ+ movement nationwide. Along the way, it serves as a vivid profile of Henry Berg-Brousseau.<\/p>\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-classic mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-paragraph mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n<p>Wan\u2019s answers to Storyboard questions and his annotation of the story provide several lessons for reporters looking to approach sensitive, nuanced, multi-layered stories with clarity and tact:<\/p>\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-classic mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    <div class=\"\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-list mb-4 list max-w-screen-full mx-auto pl-5 \">\n            \n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Listen to editors.<\/strong>\u00a0Wan said he was initially unsure of the story, especially since it diverged from the original idea. But he\u2019s glad he listened to projects editor\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/people\/lynda-robinson\/\">Lynda Robinson<\/a>\u00a0as she prodded him to tell the Bergs\u2019 story.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-classic mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-paragraph mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n<p>\u201cTo be honest, I wasn\u2019t sure if it was the right story to pursue,\u201d Wan said. \u201cI had envisioned writing about a trans teen and family still recovering from an attempt, because I wanted to be able to understand and give voice to their experience. But Lynda Robinson saw right from the start how the story could unfold and be powerful.\u201d<\/p>\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-classic mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    <div class=\"\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-list mb-4 list max-w-screen-full mx-auto pl-5 \">\n            \n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Pursue clarity of purpose.<\/strong>\u00a0When approaching potential sources for difficult stories, Wan makes sure he knows\u00a0<em>why<\/em>\u00a0the story should be told \u2014 not just so he knows, but so he can explain it to others.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-classic mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-paragraph mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n<p>\u201cThere was a period in my career when my job was covering mass shootings almost nonstop for 2-3 years. I would often sit outside a family\u2019s house in the wake of a shooting and think about why I\u2019m knocking on their door,\u201d Wan said. \u201cI found those minutes in the car soul-searching really helpful. Once I figure out for myself why I\u2019m asking people to talk \u2014 what the bigger and higher purpose is \u2014 I\u2019m more likely to get them to open up, because I know I\u2019m not trying to be a parasitic reporter. I\u2019ve really thought through the story and believe both in my approach and in the story\u2019s purpose. Once I see it, I have a better chance of helping others see it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-classic mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    <div class=\"\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-list mb-4 list max-w-screen-full mx-auto pl-5 \">\n            \n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Find the right voices.<\/strong>\u00a0\u201cIt felt important to get Henry\u2019s voice and other trans people into this piece,\u201d Wan told me. \u201cIt\u2019s often easy when writing about mental health to rely too much on experts or even family members rather than the people who are actually experiencing depression and suicidal thoughts. But they are the only ones who can truly describe their pain and struggle and challenges.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-classic mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-paragraph mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n<p>Wan discusses these and other topics relating to his story in this annotation. His answers have been edited for length and clarity.<strong>&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-classic mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-paragraph mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n<p><strong>C<\/strong><strong>overing transgender issues seems particularly fraught. Is there any advice you can offer fellow journalists?<br><\/strong>I\u2019d only written about transgender issues once before, and it was something I was worried about because it\u2019s a complicated, sensitive issue. I consulted several colleagues who are LGBTQ or write full-time on gender issues. I asked them what the worst form of this story would be: How it might do harm? And what would be the best form: What would actually do some good?<\/p>\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-classic mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-paragraph mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n<p>I also consulted with suicide researchers I trust about the potential for suicide contagion. There were many interviews with experts that never made it into the piece, but really informed our approach. I\u2019ve been writing about suicide for three or four years and it\u2019s sometimes a complicated calculation of minimizing harm while maximizing impact.<\/p>\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-classic mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-paragraph mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n<p><strong>W<\/strong><strong>ho were some of the colleagues (the photographer, editors) you worked with on this story? Was there any assistance or guidance from one or more of them that proved valuable in shaping the final product?<br><\/strong>The most important person was unquestionably my editor,&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/people\/lynda-robinson\/\">Lynda Robinson<\/a>&nbsp;\u2013 who is brilliant, gentle, supportive but also pushy when needed. She is, for my money, the best narrative editor in the country. When I\u2019m on the road reporting, we talk almost daily\u2014 at the end of the night or in the early morning\u2014 about what I\u2019m seeing. So by the time I\u2019m coming home, we both know what I have and we can already talk structure and outline.<\/p>\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-classic mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-paragraph mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n<p>I also, in a stroke of good fortune, got to work on this one with&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/people\/bonnie-jo-mount\/\">photographer Bonnie Jo Mount,<\/a>&nbsp;who is one of the best in the business. She\u2019s extremely empathetic and has a really calm energy about her, which really helped in this case.<\/p>\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-classic mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-paragraph mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n<p><strong>Is there anything you learned \u2014 either about covering these issues, or about reporting and writing in general \u2014 you think may help you with future stories?<br><\/strong>I\u2019m often really hard on myself, and frustrated about how long I take on these kinds of stories. But I think you have to care about getting it right. So I\u2019ve learned to budget for more time and energy than expected for the work.<\/p>\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-classic mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-paragraph mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n<p>I also sometimes feel weighed down by the duty and weight of someone\u2019s story, especially when it comes to suicide. I\u2019ve learned to sit with that, because it\u2019s a good thing to care. But I also try deliberately to put that aside once it\u2019s time to write. It\u2019s not about you and the pressures you feel; it\u2019s about this person and their story. That\u2019s what matters most.<\/p>\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-classic mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-paragraph mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n<p><strong><em>Annotation:\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><em>Storyboard\u2019s questions are in red; Wan\u2019s answers in blue. <\/em><\/p>\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-classic mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-image mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n<figure class=\"aligncenter\" id=\"attachment_175886\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/niemanstoryboard.org\/app\/uploads\/2024\/03\/AP23048171553428-e1686771883892-1.jpg\" alt=\"Kentucky state Sen. Karen Berg after the legislature votes to pass an anti-trans law.\" class=\"wp-image-175886\"\/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Kentucky state Sen. Karen Berg, whose son, Henry, died of suicide, is consoled after the legislature passed an anti-trans law in February 2023.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n<\/div>    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-classic mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n    <div class=\"  core-block\">\n        <div class=\"block block--core block--core-html mb-5   max-w-screen-full mx-auto\">\n            \n<h2>She lost her trans son to suicide. Can a Kentucky lawmaker make her colleagues care?<\/h2>\n<h3>Eight weeks after the death of Karen Berg\u2019s son, Henry, she\u2019s fighting a flood of anti-transgender bills in the Kentucky Senate<\/h3>\n\nBy\u00a0William Wan<br \/>\n<br \/>\nMarch 25, 2023<br \/>\n<br \/>\nLOUISVILLE \u2014 She wanted to hear Henry\u2019s voice again. So she went to her son\u2019s room on an overcast February day and started digging through the boxes he left behind, looking for something he\u2019d written to give her guidance.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nHenry Berg-Brousseau always knew what to say.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nEight years had passed since he\u2019d told Kentucky lawmakers how it felt, at 16, to be the only transgender student at his high school. Eight weeks had passed since he\u2019d killed himself, at 24, at his Northern Virginia apartment.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nIt was Henry who\u2019d inspired his mother, Karen Berg, to run for Kentucky\u2019s state Senate, helping her win a seat in an overwhelmingly Republican legislature now contemplating a pile of anti-trans bills. <span class='article-annotation-mod article-annotation-active'><a class='article-annotation-control'><\/a><span class='annotation annotation-red'>You do something interesting to begin this story, waiting four paragraphs before identifying Karen Berg. Why?<\/span><span class='annotation annotation-blue'>I wanted the story to be universal. And there\u2019s nothing more universal than a mother\u2019s love for her son. Or the grief anyone feels for someone they loved. I also wanted to start first with Henry\u2019s name &#8212; his life and death are what lead to Karen becoming state senator and a fighter for trans rights.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<br \/>\nAll morning long, the doctor turned Democratic lawmaker had been pacing around her Louisville house, trying to figure out what she could say to stop them.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cDon\u2019t shake. Don\u2019t cry. Don\u2019t let your voice waver,\u201d Karen, 61, muttered to herself as she did the laundry. \u201cShort and sweet is better.\u201d <span class='article-annotation-mod article-annotation-active'><a class='article-annotation-control'><\/a><span class='annotation annotation-red'>I like the punchy rhythm of this dialogue and, despite my usual dislike of synonyms for \u201csaid,\u201d the use of \u201cmuttered.\u201d How did you come to observe and record this bit of talk from Karen?<\/span><span class='annotation annotation-blue'>On my first day in Kentucky, Karen told me she\u2019d been talking to herself a lot since Henry died in an absent-minded way. So I asked her what exactly she\u2019d been telling herself that morning.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<br \/>\nHenry, who\u2019d worked as a press secretary for a major LGBTQ advocacy group, often reminded her to speak in sound bites, to repeat phrases so listeners could absorb the message.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nBut would the people with power in Frankfort pay attention? <span class='article-annotation-mod article-annotation-active'><a class='article-annotation-control'><\/a><span class='annotation annotation-red'>A lot of writing coaches I admire advocate for planting, when appropriate, a question to be the engine of a story. In this case you have a striking one. What do you think it does for the story to hitch it to this question?<\/span><span class='annotation annotation-blue'>It\u2019s always helpful to have a question or central tension driving the piece, but I usually try to avoid stating it so explicitly. But in this case, the story was so complicated, and we were juggling a lot in trying to cram two stories into one. So this idea came from my editor. It felt helpful to just come right out and spell out the driving question.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<br \/>\nIt was an election year in Kentucky, and amid America\u2019s widening cultural rifts, Republicans were pouncing on\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/nation\/2022\/12\/22\/lgbtq-threats-attacks-trans-bills\/?itid=lk_inline_manual_11\">gender identity issues<\/a>. Already, almost a dozen new anti-trans laws had been proposed in Kentucky: censoring books on gender, barring doctors from providing hormone therapy to trans teens, banning them from certain restrooms and locker rooms.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nFive days earlier, a senator running for lieutenant governor had stood a few feet from Karen and introduced legislation to allow teachers to use students\u2019 birth names and pronouns against their wishes. He was greeted with thunderous applause from colleagues.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nKaren, one of just six Democrats in the Senate, couldn\u2019t believe it. <span class='article-annotation-mod article-annotation-active'><a class='article-annotation-control'><\/a><span class='annotation annotation-red'>I noticed how this paragraph puts the Kentucky legislation in context with other, similarly themed bills nationwide, then immediately snaps back to Kentucky\u2019s legislation and Karen\u2019s battle against it. How much research did you do to provide readers with the larger context?<\/span><span class='annotation annotation-blue'>I did a lot of research, then chose not to include most of it. But I think a lot of writers would say that\u2019s how it often goes with narrative. The wider you make a story, the less power it has. Better to leave it narrow and focused.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<br \/>\nNow she headed down to the basement and sat among the 30 boxes that had arrived from Henry\u2019s apartment in Arlington. <span class='article-annotation-mod article-annotation-active'><a class='article-annotation-control'><\/a><span class='annotation annotation-red'>I have to ask, because this detail is so specific: Did you count the boxes?<\/span><span class='annotation annotation-blue'>The first day of reporting, I just followed Karen all around the house. Every time she mentioned something we\u2019d go look at it together. So when she mentioned the 30 boxes, I said, &ldquo;Wow that\u2019s a lot. Can you show them to me?&rdquo;<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cI keep searching for his smell, but I can\u2019t find it,\u201d she said, rooting through his old shirts.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nShe found herself returning to his childhood bedroom.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cGod, I could use his advice right now,\u201d she said quietly, as she leafed through his high school yearbooks.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nIt was in ninth grade \u2014 when Henry came out as transgender to his classmates \u2014 that the cruelty and isolation peaked. Parents Karen had known for more than a decade called to say they didn\u2019t want Henry talking to their kids anymore. Bullies hacked his Tumblr blog and repeatedly sent him messages telling him to kill himself. The first of several suicide attempts followed soon after.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nFrom one crate, she pulled a thick stack of binders from Henry\u2019s time at George Washington University in D.C.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cThese must\u2019ve been from his classes when he came home during covid,\u201d she said. As she flipped through them, the neatly penciled handwriting on one college-ruled page jumped out at her.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cOh my God,\u201d she whispered as she made out the first words on the page.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cWhat am I living for?\u201d it read. \u201cWhy? What is keeping me?\u201d<br \/>\n<br \/>\nUnderneath, her son had written out in tidy columns across two pages the apparent pros and cons of killing himself.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cI can\u2019t,\u201d Karen said, struggling to breathe. \u201cI didn\u2019t expect this. I\u2019m not ready.\u201d <span class='article-annotation-mod article-annotation-active'><a class='article-annotation-control'><\/a><span class='annotation annotation-red'>In a story full of wrenching scenes, this is one of the most difficult to read. What do you remember about observing it and interacting with Karen at that time?<\/span><span class='annotation annotation-blue'>It surprised us both. I remember both of us standing in shock and silence at first as she held the piece of paper. I had to actively force myself from saying anything or interfering with the scene, because there\u2019s a natural impulse to console or to ask her about it. Instead, I tried hard to let the moment unfold as if I wasn\u2019t there.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<br \/>\nShe laid the pages down.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nShe thought about the hour-long drive to Frankfort the next morning and the eight-week legislative session still ahead. She thought about the fellow state senators she planned to plead with in private. And about the floor speech she was still composing to persuade them to back away from more anti-transgender laws \u2014 for her sake, for the sake of her son, for the sake of others like him. <span class='article-annotation-mod article-annotation-active'><a class='article-annotation-control'><\/a><span class='annotation annotation-red'>At what point did you ask Karen about her thoughts in these moments?<\/span><span class='annotation annotation-blue'>We talked about it later in the day, what she read on the page. She cried as she described it and I hugged her. In one sense this graph is about what she was thinking about in that moment. But it was also what she had been thinking about that entire week: <em>How do I put off the grief so I can do this other thing?<\/em> It encapsulated the difficult weeks ahead for her.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cIf they\u2019re going to pass these bills,\u201d she said, \u201cI want them to see me and my dead child and know that they are killing other Henrys out there.\u201d <span class='article-annotation-mod article-annotation-active'><a class='article-annotation-control'><\/a><span class='annotation annotation-red'>You get a remarkable level of access to Karen leading up to her fight against a \u201cpronoun bill,\u201d spending time with her in her home and sometimes sharing with readers intimate details. How did you initially approach Karen, and what was the reporting process to learn more about her, Henry and the other loved ones in their orbit?<\/span><span class='annotation annotation-blue'>I spent all last year writing narratives about mental health \u2013 about suicides at Ivy League schools, deadly ER wait times, bridge suicides, policies that force parents to give up their mentally-ill children. I\u2019ve learned to put a lot of prep work into my initial calls\/emails\/text messages to people. I try to show profound interest without freaking them out. I explain to them that I think there\u2019s something really important happening here in their life. And I want to help people to understand what they\u2019re going through, because I don\u2019t think they\u2019re alone in their struggle. It\u2019s never easy \u2013 at least for me \u2013 and it shouldn\u2019t be. In this case, I wrote a really sincere email to Karen, explaining who I was and why I wanted to talk to her.  She ignored my initial email, which is understandable given the grief she was going through. (Later, she told me that as a state senator she gets hundreds of emails a day.) So I talked to others around her. I asked them to tell me about Henry. I explained how important I thought his story was and the kind of piece I wanted to do. And those people introduced me to Karen.<\/span><\/span>\n<h4>\u2018Bullied every day\u2019<\/h4>\n\nBefore he came to see himself as a boy, before he settled on the name Henry, he was just a kid who wanted friends.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nBut he never fit in. While girls around him played dress-up, Henry wanted trains and Hot Wheels cars. \u201cHe was so different than his sister, who wore tutus and pretended to be Cinderella,\u201d Karen recalled.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nWhen Karen took Henry to their synagogue for preschool, the director had girls stand to the left and boys to the right. Henry, then 2, kept trying to join the boys, even after the exasperated director took him by the hand and walked him back to the girls.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nThe private school Henry attended from kindergarten to 12th grade was even more regimented, with strict dress codes: Plaid jumper dresses for girls. Navy slacks and white polo shirts for boys.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cWe started using Sharpies in middle school to dye our hair,\u201d remembered Lane Levitch, one of Henry\u2019s only friends there. \u201cI helped him fill in the gaps with red Sharpies. He\u2019d help me with blue.\u201d <span class='article-annotation-mod article-annotation-active'><a class='article-annotation-control'><\/a><span class='annotation annotation-red'>This is such a vivid anecdote. Tell me a little bit about how you found and interviewed Lane.<\/span><span class='annotation annotation-blue'>Karen showed me a stack of condolence cards she\u2019d received. I asked her which ones had meant the most, and she mentioned Lane\u2019s incredible letter. He immediately became a top reporting priority for me. Because he not only knew Henry during this turning point of his life, but he\u2019d experienced first-hand the same bullying and isolation. It was so valuable to have another young trans person\u2019s voice who could speak for Henry.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<br \/>\nThey\u2019d met in first grade when a teacher noticed the other girls ignoring them and pushed the two together. When Henry was excluded from birthday parties or left out of Valentine\u2019s Day card exchanges, he still had Lane.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nThe summer after eighth grade in 2012, Lane confided something to Henry he\u2019d never told anyone before: He felt like he\u2019d been born in the wrong body.<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\u201cA boy,\u201d he texted Henry, \u201cbut in a girl\u2019s body.\u201d<br \/>\n<br \/>\nHenry texted back immediately, \u201cI feel the same way.\u201d<br \/>\n<br \/>\nLane told Henry he\u2019d discovered a word online for what they were feeling:\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/dc-md-va\/interactive\/2023\/voices-post-kff-survey-transgender-americans\/?itid=lk_inline_manual_41\">\u201ctrans.\u201d<\/a><br \/>\n<br \/>\nAt 14, Henry would later<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>say, he felt like he\u2019d discovered his true self.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nHe and Lane made a pact to come out together as boys that fall. They would wait until a few weeks into ninth grade, and abandon their plaid skirts for boys\u2019 slacks.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nBut Henry came out a week earlier than they\u2019d planned \u2014 and did it on his own.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cHe told everyone, \u2018I\u2019d prefer if you call me Henry. My pronouns are he\/him,\u2019\u201d Lane said. Some teachers refused, continuing to call him by his birth name. One pulled him out of class to lecture him in the hallway.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cIt led students to believe they could do the same,\u201d Lane said. There were constant sneers and mockery. Boys treated him like a freak. Girls wanted nothing to do with him.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nWhen Lane saw the vitriol, he abandoned all plans of coming out. It would be another five years before Lane told anyone else he was trans.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cEven as he was getting bullied every day, Henry never threw me under the bus. He never made me feel ashamed for not following through on our plan and doing what he did,\u201d said Lane, 25,<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>who still lives in Louisville. \u201cI\u2019ll forever be grateful to him for keeping my secret.\u201d<br \/>\n<br \/>\nA few nights after Henry came out at school, he did the same with his parents at their kitchen table.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nAt first, his father, Bob Brousseau, had trouble accepting it. \u201cI thought it was a phase,\u201d he said. \u201cIt took me a few months to come around.\u201d<br \/>\n<br \/>\nKaren mourned the daughter she\u2019d raised for 14 years and worried about Henry\u2019s mental health.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nA year earlier, a teacher had discovered that Henry was cutting his arms and legs. Karen, an emergency room radiologist, knew what it meant \u2014 her child was hurting so much inside that it made him feel better to hurt himself on the outside. She found Henry a therapist.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nAt the time, bathrooms for transgender kids were just starting to emerge as a political issue around the country. Henry\u2019s school administrators initially ordered him to keep using the girls bathrooms, then designated a single-stall toilet in the school basement for his use.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cIt was in this abandoned area where the older kids would often go to make out. They would tease him whenever he used it,\u201d Karen said. So Henry tried not to go at all.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nThe first suicide attempt occurred just three months after he came out.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nIn the months that followed, his parents got him more help. Inpatient and outpatient psychiatric programs. Family therapy. They couldn\u2019t find a psychologist in Louisville who\u2019d worked with a transgender teen before, so they chose someone who said he was willing to try.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nHis parents, who later divorced, also helped Henry get an internship with the Fairness Campaign, an LGBTQ advocacy group in Kentucky. <span class='article-annotation-mod article-annotation-active'><a class='article-annotation-control'><\/a><span class='annotation annotation-red'>I\u2019m impressed with how thorough a portrait of Henry emerges in this piece. How much did you consider the amount of space you could give his story in the piece\u2019s overall structure?<\/span><span class='annotation annotation-blue'>Henry led such an interesting life, which was both a challenge and a gift for the writing. I reported Henry\u2019s side of the story as thoroughly as if I was writing an entire standalone profile on him. That allowed us to cherry-pick the best details for weaving structure.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<br \/>\nEven the name of the organization spoke to Henry. \u201cFairness, the concept of people being equal, is all-important and essentially a driving force for me,\u201d he later told a Louisville magazine. \u201cIt\u2019s like love.\u201d<br \/>\n<br \/>\nJust days into his internship in 2015, Kentucky Republicans filed a bill to ban trans kids from choosing which bathrooms to use at school. The Fairness Campaign needed parents and students to explain the harm it would do at a Senate hearing.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nChris Hartman, the group\u2019s director, turned to Henry and asked the 16-year-old: \u201cAre you up for it? Are you ready to testify?\u201d\n<h4>\u2018You know me, Henry\u2019<\/h4>\n\nHenry had never worn a suit before. So he and his mom went to J.C. Penney to buy one \u2014 a dark-gray jacket and pants with a blue striped tie. Then he sat in his room, surrounded by Marvel movie posters<strong>,<\/strong> and rehearsed what he\u2019d say. <span class='article-annotation-mod article-annotation-active'><a class='article-annotation-control'><\/a><span class='annotation annotation-red'>The mention of the movie posters jumped out to me as a telling detail to reinforce how young Henry was when he stepped into the lion\u2019s den of a state Senate hearing. Do you remember how it occurred to you to include it?<\/span><span class='annotation annotation-blue'>After reading my first draft, Lynda asked me specifically to describe his room. Because it didn\u2019t feel like the reader was getting a good enough sense of Henry as a teen.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cIt\u2019s not the easiest thing in the world for me to be here talking to you about where I go to the bathroom,\u201d he told the Senate Education Committee on Feb. 19, 2015.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nHe explained how difficult it had been to live in a body that didn\u2019t match what he felt inside. He recounted how school officials forced<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>him to keep using the girls bathroom. \u201cThe kids thought that because the administration didn\u2019t support my\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/lifestyle\/2022\/04\/01\/gender-identity-glossary\/?itid=lk_inline_manual_68\">gender identity<\/a>, they didn\u2019t have to either,\u201d he said.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nHe described how the school later relegated him to a toilet in the basement. \u201cWhen somebody tells us that we\u2019re so different that the only way to accommodate is to create a special restroom, the message is clear that we don\u2019t belong.\u201d<br \/>\n<br \/>\nHe finished by flashing a soft smile at the senators. \u201cIf you don\u2019t know a transgender kid already, you do now. You know me, Henry. And I\u2019d be honored to continue to work with you,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019d even be more honored to call you all friends.\u201d<br \/>\n<br \/>\nThe Republican senators gushed over him afterward.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cHenry, thank you,\u201d said Sen. Max Wise. \u201cI educated myself a lot today.\u201d<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cHenry, I love you man,\u201d said then-Sen. Alice Forgy Kerr. \u201cI can\u2019t really imagine that anyone else in this room has the kind of courage that it took for you to come and testify.\u201d<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cYou should be proud of yourself,\u201d said Sen. Jared Carpenter.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nThen, one by one they voted for the bill<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>anyway.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nSitting beside her son, Karen felt a<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>fury welling up inside her.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nAs a doctor, Karen had pored over research about transgender teens. She\u2019d read about the terrifying rates of anxiety, depression and PTSD because of the hostility they encountered. She knew that almost half of trans teens experienced suicidal thoughts, that more than a third try to kill themselves. <span class='article-annotation-mod article-annotation-active'><a class='article-annotation-control'><\/a><span class='annotation annotation-red'>At a time when anti-trans legislation is surging, Karen Berg seems to occupy a unique position: A doctor and legislator who lost her transgender son, Henry \u2014 an eloquent advocate who had shared his story with lawmakers before Karen took office \u2014 to suicide. How did you become aware of Karen, and why did you want to tell her story?<\/span><span class='annotation annotation-blue'>For years now, I\u2019ve made it my goal to write about people on the margins of society, often related to mental health. This past winter, my editor and I started talking about finding some way to write about suicide among trans youth. The rates are terrifyingly high, and the environment trans teens face is only getting more hostile as Republicans seized on this as an election-year, culture-war issue. It took a long time to find the right family. It\u2019s a hard thing to ask anyone to let you in in the wake of a suicide attempt or a traumatic death. I spent weeks talking to advocacy groups and pursuing leads. A few days before Christmas, I saw an obit about Henry Berg-Brousseau\u2019s death, and I bookmarked it for the new year. I think it helped that we gave it time. I didn\u2019t approach Karen about the story until a few weeks after Henry died. To be honest, I wasn\u2019t sure if it was the right story to pursue. I had envisioned writing about a trans teen and family still recovering from an attempt, because I wanted to be able to understand and give voice to their experience. But with guidance from my editor, Lynda Robinson, this became two stories in one: one about a trans youth\u2019s struggle with suicide and the other about his mother\u2019s struggle in the state legislature to prevent more people like her son from dying.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cIt\u2019s not that there is something inherently suicidal about<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>anyone\u2019s identity, including being transgender,\u201d said Christine Moutier, chief medical officer for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. \u201cIf you look at everything we know about what increases suicide risk \u2014 trauma, discrimination, violence, harassment \u2014 that\u2019s what so many transgender youth are facing.\u201d <span class='article-annotation-mod article-annotation-active'><a class='article-annotation-control'><\/a><span class='annotation annotation-red'>I always like to see larger context added to stories such as this one. Did you speak to Christine yourself or find this quote elsewhere?<\/span><span class='annotation annotation-blue'>Yep, I talked to Christine and several other experts for the story. Not just for context but because I wanted guidance on how to write about trans suicides in a way that doesn\u2019t cause trauma\/harm to readers who might already be suicidal. I also talked to experts at the Trevor Project, PFLAAG, ACLU, and a few academic researchers. This is the only quote from any of them, but their expertise was infused throughout.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<br \/>\nA newly released\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/dc-md-va\/2023\/03\/23\/transgender-adults-transitioning-poll\/?itid=lk_inline_manual_81\">Washington Post-KFF poll of trans adults<\/a>\u00a0found suicidal thoughts are more common among younger adults, and that the age at which they came out correlated with higher levels of suicidal thoughts, incidents of self-harm and mental health problems later on. Among trans people who did not come out until adults, 37 percent had suicidal thoughts in the past year. Among those who came out earlier, before the age of 18, 58 percent struggled with suicidal thoughts.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nDuring Henry\u2019s testimony in Frankfort, which went viral after being featured on\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/hmoAX9f6MOc?t=804\">\u201cLast Week Tonight With John Oliver,\u201d\u00a0<\/a>the teen didn\u2019t mention his suicide attempt or the ugliness that fueled it. But his mother couldn\u2019t stop thinking about what he\u2019d been through at school as she gazed at the senators on the dais above them.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cWhy do these a-holes,\u201d she wondered, \u201cget to decide where my child pees?\u201d<br \/>\n<br \/>\nThe bill didn\u2019t wind up passing the full legislature, but Henry\u2019s three-minute speech threw both of them headlong into politics.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nHenry was a kid who never did anything halfheartedly. He swam competitively until he tore a rotator cuff. He kept playing on the girls\u2019 softball team throughout high school, even after he came out, even when the coach made his life miserable.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nAfter the Senate hearing, Henry started binge-watching \u201cThe West Wing\u201d and followed Hartman, the Fairness Campaign director, everywhere he could.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cI\u2019d have a monthly organizing meeting on the other side of the state. Utterly boring. Six people sitting around the table talking about municipal ordinances. Henry would insist on tagging along,\u201d Hartman said. \u201cThe whole drive there, he\u2019d pepper me with questions.\u201d<br \/>\n<br \/>\nHartman tried to temper Henry\u2019s expectations. \u201cA lot of folks think if I can just talk to the right lawmaker, use the right logic or personal experience, I can change everything,\u201d Hartman said. \u201cBut there\u2019s a lot of disappointment, struggle and sadness in the work we do.\u201d <span class='article-annotation-mod article-annotation-active'><a class='article-annotation-control'><\/a><span class='annotation annotation-red'>Hartman\u2019s input seems crucial in building a fuller portrait of Henry. Tell me a little bit about how you approached and interviewed him.<\/span><span class='annotation annotation-blue'>I wanted to talk with someone from every era of Henry\u2019s life. Hartman was there for the seminal 2-3 years when Henry transformed from teenager\/victim to activist. I had several phone interviews with him and spent half a day with him in state legislature. Like with Henry, Hartman\u2019s life was so interesting, I could have done a whole story on him. I was only in Kentucky for 4-5 days total, so it was stressful to be honest trying to gather everything I needed in that short space. I work pretty intensely around the clock during these trips.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<br \/>\nAt Henry\u2019s urging, Karen signed up for a six-month course to teach women how to run for office. She learned to fundraise, door-knock and connect with voters.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nIn 2018, she ran against a Republican state senator who\u2019d held his seat for 24 years \u2014 and lost.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nTwo years later, after the incumbent retired, she tried again. This time Henry, home from college because of the pandemic, served as her campaign treasurer and adviser. By then, he had interned in the state legislature and volunteered on other campaigns.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cHe wrote such beautiful speeches for me,\u201d said Karen, though Henry could also be brutally blunt. \u201cHe told me when I disappointed him. He called me out for going off-message.\u201d<br \/>\n<br \/>\nWith Henry\u2019s help, Karen won. In 2020, she entered the Kentucky legislature as its first Jewish female physician \u2014 and the only state senator with a transgender son.\n\n<h4>\u2018Why can\u2019t I quit crying?\u2019<\/h4>\n\nA year after his mother became a lawmaker, Henry landed a job in Washington at the Human Rights Campaign, the country\u2019s largest LGBTQ civil rights advocacy group. The work was thrilling and urgent.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nState legislatures were being inundated with anti-LGBTQ bills \u2014 315 in 2022 alone, according to the Human Rights Campaign. Transgender teens, in particular, had become a favorite conservative target. In Texas, state leaders ordered child protective services to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/dc-md-va\/2022\/03\/17\/texas-trans-child-abuse-investigations\/?itid=lk_inline_manual_99\">investigate parents <\/a>of transgender kids. Florida <a href=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/education\/2022\/07\/01\/dont-say-gay-florida-law\/?itid=lk_inline_manual_99\">passed legislation<\/a> restricting what elementary school teachers could say about gender identity and sexual orientation. Arkansas made it illegal for doctors to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/politics\/2023\/03\/14\/huckabee-sanders-transgender-malpractice-lgbtq-arkansas\/302c9d6a-c280-11ed-82a7-6a87555c1878_story.html?itid=lk_inline_manual_99\">provide gender-affirming<\/a> care to kids.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nHenry\u2019s job was to respond to such attacks with press releases and news conferences.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cHe was immersed in the most horrible stuff,\u201d said Delphine Luneau, who was Henry\u2019s boss and worked in a desk next to his.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nGay teachers were being portrayed as pedophiles trying to groom kids. Schools acknowledging the existence of trans people were accused of encouraging kids to have sex-reassignment surgery.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nHenry spent weeks knocking down a <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Litter_boxes_in_schools_hoax\">bizarre false claim<\/a> that schools were installing litter boxes for students to pee in because they wanted to be identified as cats.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cWe\u2019d sit there in the office and struggle. How do you disprove something insane like that without giving it more fuel,\u201d said Luneau, a transgender woman who became Henry\u2019s mentor and close friend.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nHenry believed in the fight.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cHe talked about how when done right, politics can make the world a better place,\u201d she said. \u201cHe talked about running for office. We joked about him becoming the country\u2019s first transgender president.\u201d<br \/>\n<br \/>\nBut Luneau could tell the work \u2014 and the rise in LGBTQ hatred around the country \u2014 were taking a toll.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cIt feels like there hasn\u2019t been a break in the emotional intensity or pace of the work,\u201d Henry noted in his last self-evaluation. <span class='article-annotation-mod article-annotation-active'><a class='article-annotation-control'><\/a><span class='annotation annotation-red'>This is another important piece in the portrait you\u2019re building. How did you come to be able to draw on Henry\u2019s self-evaluation?<\/span><span class='annotation annotation-blue'>This came from Henry\u2019s coworkers and supervisors at Human Rights Campaign. Word often spreads as people learn that you\u2019re genuinely interested and can be trusted. By the time I talked with them, Karen, Hartman and others had already told them what I was trying to do.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<br \/>\nHenry had spent a decade trying to arrive at a place of acceptance with others and his own body. He never had surgery, and only underwent a short round of testosterone hormone therapy \u2014 just enough to grow facial hair. All he wanted was to have a waiter or doorman address him as \u201csir,\u201d he told his mom.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nBy leaving Kentucky, he\u2019d finally found the sense of belonging he yearned for his whole life. He joined an LGBTQ kickball league in Washington that became a second family. His team, named \u201cCirque du SoGay,\u201d spent every Tuesday competing in trivia night, with Henry as their ringer for politics and current events.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nHenry was the only trans man on his team, but he was the one everyone went to when they needed someone to confide in.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cHe was good at listening with no judgment, just love,\u201d said Michael Creason, co-captain of the team.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nBut even 600 miles and years removed from Kentucky, Henry struggled to love himself.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nIn his six years in Washington, he had at least four close calls with suicide, landing repeatedly in the emergency room, his mother said.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nOne of the most serious occurred on his 20th birthday. After being left out of many parties as a child, Henry was surprised by his friends with a big one.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cAfterward when everyone broke off to go to bars and stuff, apparently he didn\u2019t hear anyone say come with us,\u201d Karen said. \u201cHe couldn\u2019t shake that feeling of being rejected.\u201d<br \/>\n<br \/>\nHe saw a trauma-informed therapist, a psychiatrist and attended an intensive treatment program in California. But the suicidal thoughts always came back.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nHe called Karen one day sobbing. \u201cHe said, \u2018Mom, Why can\u2019t I quit crying? Why am I so sad?\u2019\u201d <span class='article-annotation-mod article-annotation-active'><a class='article-annotation-control'><\/a><span class='annotation annotation-red'>There are vivid details throughout this story. What was your technical process for taking and organizing all the information you gathered?<\/span><span class='annotation annotation-blue'>My process is\u2026slow, awful, messy, but ultimately, it works for me. This story was challenging because I had so much material spread across different mediums: Notebooks from my reporting trip, recordings because I was shadowing Karen, hours of public video from senate committee hearings. I also take a lot of photos during these reporting trips because it transports me back to what it felt and looked like. I consolidate it all as much as possible in one place \u2014 a master document. Then I take the outline I\u2019ve created, and I cut and paste the master document up into buckets for each section of that outline. Lastly, I create a new blank document and start writing each section drawing from those individual buckets. It makes it easier to have at hand only the material needed for each section.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<br \/>\nIn spring of 2022, he went to the hospital after his body began convulsing. The doctors ran neurological tests and told him he was experiencing psychogenic seizures \u2014 convulsions that looked like epilepsy but were caused by distress and trauma.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nIn December, he told his mom about the mounting number of anti-trans bills he was fighting at work. He was dreading the approaching legislative season.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cHe could see how many more bills would be coming this year,\u201d she said. \u201cHe said, \u2018Mom, I\u2019m tired and scared.\u2019\u201d<br \/>\n<br \/>\nOn Dec. 15, Henry went out with his kickball friends for a night of karaoke. Like everyone else, Henry had a lot to drink, so he went to Creason\u2019s apartment to sober up.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nThere, Henry told his friend that he\u2019d recently been struggling with suicide again.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nCreason persuaded Henry to check himself into the hospital and called an Uber to take him. A few hours later, at 5:30 a.m., Henry sent a text: \u201cYou\u2019re going to hate me, but I\u2019m going home. Sorry.\u201d<br \/>\n<br \/>\nConcerned, Creason wrote back, \u201cHit me up tomorrow.\u201d<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cI won\u2019t be able to\u2026I\u2019m about to do something really stupid,\u201d Henry replied. Then came a photo of empty pill bottles.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nCreason called 911 and rushed over to Henry\u2019s apartment. But by the time he and the police got inside, Henry was dead. <span class='article-annotation-mod article-annotation-active'><a class='article-annotation-control'><\/a><span class='annotation annotation-red'>It seems crucial to include these details \u2014 they\u2019re powerful, and they help readers understand Karen\u2019s fierce struggle as the story goes on. But that said, how much did you consider what to include and what not to include of the events leading up to Henry\u2019s death?<\/span><span class='annotation annotation-blue'>There are a lot of helpful guidelines by prevention groups on how to report on suicide. I often re-read them as I write a story and debate what to include and why. In this case, it felt important to communicate the impulsive nature of suicide. That it can be something you struggle with for years but can also depend on immediate circumstances. In Henry\u2019s case, there was the long-term trauma and hostility he faced growing up in Kentucky, but also the more immediate dread he was feeling about the trans rights fights looming in the year ahead. I wanted to show all the things he was facing up until the final days of his life.<\/span><\/span>\n<h4>\u2018Marginalizing my child\u2019<\/h4>\n\nKaren couldn\u2019t eat and struggled most days to crawl out of bed. Henry\u2019s white SUV sat in her driveway. His dog Bibi, a Pekingese Shih Tzu mutt, now slept in bed with her.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nThe grief was so overwhelming that Karen stopped working in the ER, not trusting herself to make split-second diagnostic decisions.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nShe thought about sitting out the legislative session too. \u201cEverything in my body is telling me not to go back there,\u201d she said.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nEveryone in Frankfort knew what had happened to her son. She\u2019d announced his death in a statement shared widely on Twitter.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cI gave my whole heart trying to protect my child from a world w[h]ere some people and especially some politicians intentionally continued to believe that marginalizing my child was OK,\u201d she wrote.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cIf I have one ask,\u201d she said, \u201cit would be this: practice tolerance and grace. Work on loving your neighbor.\u201d<br \/>\n<br \/>\nKentucky\u2019s LGBTQ activists believed Henry\u2019s story might be their best chance at turning back the tide of anti-trans bills.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nSo Karen dumped her coffee into a thermos, climbed into her gray Honda SUV and drove to the state capital.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nFor days, she\u2019d been making calls to her Republican colleagues, gently lobbying them.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nWhen one lawmaker asked why trans children were suddenly popping up everywhere, Karen compared it to\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/science\/article\/abs\/pii\/002839329290065T?via%3Dihub\">left-handed\u00a0<\/a>kids.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cYou look at the data in the 1950s and \u201960s when we stopped forcing kids to be right-handed. The number of left-handed children exploded exponentially, then plateaued,\u201d she said. \u201cThey were always there but never were allowed to exist.\u201d <span class='article-annotation-mod article-annotation-active'><a class='article-annotation-control'><\/a><span class='annotation annotation-red'>This is a powerful and well-said point. Did you hear Karen say it out loud?<\/span><span class='annotation annotation-blue'>Yes, by that point we had spent so much time together that I was just hanging out for long stretches as she was making calls to other legislators. It can be delicate and overwhelming sometimes to spend that much time invading someone else\u2019s space. Whenever I sensed either of us needed some space, I\u2019d go get lunch or retreat to a separate room and look through photo albums, do phone interviews or other work.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<br \/>\nShe tried not to scold or seem angry to conservative colleagues.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nShe kept condolence cards from Republicans on her dining table to remind herself they cared.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cI cannot imagine the sense of loss and suffering you must feel,\u201d read one.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cOur hearts are broken for you,\u201d read another from the powerful Senate president pro tempore, David Givens.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nBut the sympathy seemed to disappear on Feb. 8, when Wise rose on the Senate floor to introduce the latest bill targeting trans teens.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nIn 2015, Wise had been one of the Republicans praising Henry\u2019s testimony. Now, as a GOP candidate for lieutenant governor, he wanted to allow teachers to call trans teens by their birth names and pronouns even if they were asked not to. His measure would become known as the pronoun bill.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nWise, who declined requests for an interview, attacked state education materials suggesting teachers use trans students\u2019 declared pronouns.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cThis is absolute nonsense that has no place within our educational system,\u201d he said, deriding \u201cthe new pronouns that seem to land in Webster\u2019s Dictionary daily\u201d and \u201cwoke ideologies\u201d emanating from Washington.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nWise invoked the \u201clitter box\u201d myth that Henry had spent weeks debunking. <span class='article-annotation-mod article-annotation-active'><a class='article-annotation-control'><\/a><span class='annotation annotation-red'>It\u2019s frankly staggering that Wise raised the very myth Henry had fought in his previous work. Do you recall your reaction when you recognized that awful symmetry?<\/span><span class='annotation annotation-blue'>I didn\u2019t realize this connection until I sat down to organize and relistened to Wise\u2019s speech. I was pretty surprised. There was another moment like this when I got a hold of Henry\u2019s senate testimony at age 16. I realized that Wise was one of the Republicans who praised Henry, then went on to vote against him.<\/span><\/span><strong><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>He warned of teachers being fired for not calling supposed \u201cfurry\u201d students by their \u201cpet names.\u201d<br \/>\n<br \/>\nFrom three seats away, Karen sat in shock as the chamber erupted in applause.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nShe rose to give a short response: \u201cI\u2019m going to make an open plea to the members of this body that we avoid politicizing issues that are literally killing our children, that are literally putting them into the grave.\u201d<br \/>\n<br \/>\nNo one clapped.\n<h4>\u2018Don\u2019t give up\u2019<\/h4>\nA week later, she was headed back to Frankfort, dreading an LGBTQ rights rally planned by the Fairness Campaign.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nThe most persuasive voices at such rallies were often LGBTQ youths. But Karen knew how hard it would be this year to see vulnerable kids arguing, as Henry had, for the right to exist.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cIt\u2019s heartbreaking to watch them shaking hands, telling their life story, pleading for help. Only to be voted against again and again,\u201d she said.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nShe wondered if she\u2019d made a mistake letting Henry testify at 16.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nNow, an even younger trans child, 13-year-old\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/education\/2022\/08\/25\/fischer-wells-trans-athlete-kentucky\/?itid=lk_inline_manual_166\">Fischer Wells<\/a>, was the one championing the cause.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nIn 2022, as a middle schooler, she and her parents had waged\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/education\/2022\/08\/25\/fischer-wells-trans-athlete-kentucky\/?itid=lk_inline_manual_167\">a high-profile battle<\/a>\u00a0against a bill to ban transgender women and girls from playing on female sports teams.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nLike Henry, Fischer had testified before the Senate Education Committee, explaining how the bill would prevent her from playing on a field hockey team she\u2019d helped create.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nBut Sen. Robby Mills, the Republican sponsor of the Fairness in Women\u2019s Sports Act, argued it was needed to protect female athletes and suggested that some people might transition just to gain a competitive advantage.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nThe bill passed, and Fischer was off the team. <span class='article-annotation-mod article-annotation-active'><a class='article-annotation-control'><\/a><span class='annotation annotation-red'>Why was it important to include Fischer Wells?<\/span><span class='annotation annotation-blue'>It was important to include as many other trans voices as possible in the story \u2013 like Henry\u2019s friend Lane and his boss Delphine.  Fischer seemed important as a stand-in for the next Henry; she is the kind of trans teen Karen was trying to save from suffering the same fate as her son.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<br \/>\nNow she and her parents had come back to the capital to fight this year\u2019s pronoun bill and a slew of other anti-trans legislation.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cThank you so much for supporting our family,\u201d Fischer\u2019s mother, Jenifer Alonzo, told Karen when they met in her office on the day of the rally.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nFischer\u2019s father, Brian Wells, said they\u2019d been turned away all morning by Republican lawmakers.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nOne bill that would forbid doctors from providing hormone therapy and other medical care to transgender teens was especially scary.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cThat\u2019s like a bright red line for us,\u201d he said. They\u2019d started talking about moving out of Kentucky.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cHow are you doing though?\u201d Alonzo asked Karen. \u201cYou tell us if we can help you, too.\u201d<br \/>\n<br \/>\nBefore they left, they gave Karen a hug, and Karen had trouble letting go. She wanted to tell them, she said later, to take their daughter and run as far away as they could. Don\u2019t fail her like I did Henry.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nInstead, she reminded them and herself: \u201cDon\u2019t give up. Don\u2019t stop fighting.\u201d\n<h4>\u2018Not throwing away my shot\u2019<\/h4>\n\nWhen Karen got home from the rally on Feb. 15, a GOP friend called to warn her that the pronoun bill would be put to a vote the next day.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nKaren had been pushing to add an amendment requiring teachers to call trans teens by their pronouns if their parents requested it \u2014 using Republicans\u2019 own arguments that this was a parental rights bill.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nAfter one of Henry\u2019s suicide attempts, he\u2019d gotten a tattoo on his arm \u2013 \u201cI\u2019m not throwing away my shot,\u201d a line from the Broadway show \u201cHamilton\u201d \u2014 as a reminder that his life could make a difference.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nKaren thought of that as she wrote her speech to persuade Republicans to support her amendment.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nThe bill would have one final hearing before the education committee before a vote by the entire Senate. It was the same committee Henry had spoken to at 16 \u2014 the one that had sent them down this political path she was now walking alone.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nKaren watched the next morning as one LGBTQ advocate after another begged the committee to reject the bill.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nThe last to speak was Hartman, the Fairness Campaign director who mentored Henry through high school.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cThe suicide rates are outrageous. You know it,\u201d Hartman shouted. \u201cTo do this now in front of Karen Berg is a sin and a shame!\u201d<br \/>\n<br \/>\nThe testimony had little effect. Within hours, Republican leaders rushed the bill to the floor for vote by the full Senate.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nFrom her seat at the front of the chamber, Karen could tell her colleagues were lining up against her. That morning, Republican leaders had used a procedural maneuver to prevent a vote on her amendment.<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cI\u2019m no longer speaking for my child,&#8221; she said when it was her turn to talk. &#8220;You know my child is dead. I am speaking for every mother and father who has held my hand with tears running down their face, saying, \u2018What do we do?\u2019\u201d<br \/>\n<br \/>\nShe pointed out the ramps schools build for children in wheelchairs and the peanut bans for children allergic to nuts. So why not call trans kids by their rightful pronouns, she demanded, \u201can accommodation that costs you nothing? Zero!\u201d<br \/>\n<br \/>\n\u201cYour vote \u2018yes\u2019 on this bill means one of two things. Either you believe that trans children do not exist or you believe that trans children do not deserve to exist.\u201d<br \/>\n<br \/>\nThe chamber was quiet as the clerk called out the senators\u2019 names to vote. Some almost whispered their response, but Karen could see their names turning green as yes votes were recorded on a screen above.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nThen it was over, 29 to 6. Not a single Republican voted against the pronoun bill.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nIn the coming days, senators would add\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/nation\/2023\/03\/17\/kentucky-bill-gender-affirmingcare-antitransgender\/?itid=lk_inline_manual_201\">more provisions<\/a>\u00a0banning gender-affirming care and prohibiting schools from discussing sexual orientation or gender identity \u2014 measures that would prompt a\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/politics\/2023\/03\/24\/transgender-health-kentucky\/cff467da-ca53-11ed-9cc5-a58a4f6d84cd_story.html?itid=lk_inline_manual_201\">veto by the governor<\/a>\u00a0and the prospect of a vote to override him.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nBut this first betrayal by her colleagues was the hardest. Karen collapsed in her seat. The grief she\u2019d been trying to hold back for weeks came pouring out. She wailed as she walked out of the chamber.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nIn the hallway, there was nothing now except the sound of her voice, crying, \u201cI just want my baby back.\u201d <span class='article-annotation-mod article-annotation-active'><a class='article-annotation-control'><\/a><span class='annotation annotation-red'>The passage of the bill over Karen\u2019s objections makes a natural stopping point, but how did you land on this particular line as the hardest-hitting way to end it?<\/span><span class='annotation annotation-blue'>One of the first things my editor and I talked about before I started writing was the ending. Throughout the legislative session, Karen was really trying to put her grief on hold and put all her energy into opposing these anti-trans bills. So my editor\u2019s idea was to save showing Karen fully sobbing and crying until the very end. It was true to what happened in that moment but also reflected the cruelty of that legislative session. The Republican agenda meant she was so busy trying to prevent other trans suicides that she wasn\u2019t allowed to grieve. It\u2019s only when she realized she\u2019s failed that she\u2019s hit by the full force of what she\u2019s lost.<\/span><\/span><span class='article-annotation-mod article-annotation-active'><a class='article-annotation-control'><\/a><span class='annotation annotation-red'>What was the reaction from readers to this piece? From Karen?<\/span><span class='annotation annotation-blue'>I got inundated with emails, DMs and messages, including from many parents, trans and LGBTQ people who wanted to share their own stories and struggles. A former Republican state senator in Kentucky told me the story was being circulated among her former colleagues. \u201cThey may not say it openly, but they\u2019re reading. It\u2019s making waves.\u201d Several outlets like CNN followed with stories of their own about Karen and Henry. I struggled a bit to respond to the number of heartfelt messages the first few days. And Karen, who got hundreds of emails from around the country, said the same was true for her. \u201cThank you for telling my son\u2019s story,\u201d she told me a few days later. \u201cFor listening, for being there as I went through the most difficult period of my life. If it lessens the hatred trans people are facing, even a little, I know he would have been so proud.\u201d<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<br \/>\n<strong><em>* * *<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\n<br \/>\n<em>If you are transgender and need help, or know someone who does, call the\u00a0<\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.translifeline.org\/\"><em>Trans Lifeline<\/em><\/a><em>\u00a0at 877-565-8860. You can also reach crisis counselors at\u00a0<\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.thetrevorproject.org\/get-help\/\"><em>The Trevor Project<\/em><\/a><em>\u00a0for LGBTQ youth by calling 866-488-7386 or texting \u201cSTART\u201d to 678678, and by calling the\u00a0<\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/988lifeline.org\/\">988 Suicide &amp; Crisis Lifeline<\/a><em>\u00a0at 988.<\/em><br \/><br>\n<em>The\u00a0<\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/tablet\/2023\/03\/23\/nov-10-dec-1-2022-washington-post-kff-trans-survey\/?itid=lk_inline_manual_206\"><em>Washington Post-KFF Trans Survey<\/em><\/a><em>\u00a0was conducted in English and Spanish from Nov. 10-Dec. 1, 2022, among 515 U.S. adults who identify as trans and 823 cisgender U.S. adults. Sampling, data collection, weighting and tabulation were managed by SSRS. Trans adults were reached via three survey panels recruited using random sampling methods: The Gallup Panel, NORC\u2019s AmeriSpeak Panel and the SSRS Opinion Panel. Additional trans respondents were recontacted from previous randomized telephone interviews. Cisgender adults were recruited through the SSRS Opinion Panel. Results among the sample of trans adults have a margin of sampling error of plus or minus seven percentage points and the margin of sampling error is plus or minus four percentage points among the sample of cisgender adults.<\/em><br>\n<br \/>\n<em>Story editing by Lynda Robinson; photo editing by Dudley Brooks and Mark Miller; video editing by Amber Ferguson; copy editing by Thomas Heleba and Shay Quillen; project editing by Wendy Gallietta; design by Natalie Vineberg. Scott Clement and Emily Guskin also contributed to this story.<\/em><br \/>\n<br \/>\n<strong><em>* * *<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\n<br \/>\n<strong><em>Trevor Pyle, a newspaper reporter in the Pacific Northwest for several years, is a communications officer for a regional nonprofit.<\/em>\n\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>William Wan of The Washington Post wove a braided profile a state lawmaker and her late son in their battle against anti-trans laws<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9646,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"topics":[],"authors":[11],"issue":[],"class_list":["post-2435","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-annotation-tuesday","authors-trevor-pyle"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Finding the &quot;bigger and higher purpose&quot; 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